What is sexual dysfunction?
What causes sexual dysfunction?
How to improve sexual dysfunction?
Sexual Dysfunction.
Sexual dysfunction can be described as the experience of persistent and unwanted problems that impact one’s sexual experiences or sexual satisfaction during stages of desire, arousal, or orgasm.
Experiencing a shift in desire (decrease in libido)
Sexual anxiety (in preparation for or during sexual activity)
Painful sex related to Vaginismus or Dyspareunia
Erectile variability (often referred to as erectile dysfunction)
Orgasm challenges (climaxing “too fast, too slow, or entirely not at all”)
Studies suggest, “43% of women and 31% of men experience some form of sexual dysfunction” (Avasthi et al., 2017). This means sexual dysfunction is actually a quite common experience yet its often not discussed at all or heavily stigmatized in conversation. This can leave people feeling broken and isolated in their experience.
What causes sexual dysfunction?
Sexual dysfunction is often not caused by a single factor but a combination of psycho-bio-social factors.
This is not an exhaustive list, simply a peek into what characteristics of one’s internal and external world could be influencing one’s sexual functioning, sexual enjoyment, and relationship to sex.
Let’s look at a few.
Physiological Level
How well is the blood circulating in our bodies?
Are we experiencing unwanted pain that is causing significant discomfort and distress?
Mental Level
What narratives and belief systems do we have around sex?
When we perceive a threat, what trauma responses show up?
Emotional Level
What is our emotional state leading up to/during sex?
How emotionally safe do we feel with the person we are having sex with?
Relational Level
Are there any relational ruptures left unresolved?
How comfortable do we feel communicating our sexual desires and providing feedback about the sexual experiences we are having?
What do we believe our role is in a sexual dynamic? What role do we want to embody?
How to improve sexual dysfunction?
Step 1: Stop Pointing Fingers
Many of us don’t feel good when we perceive we are — disappointing others or are being blamed for a problem that we feel powerless to. Regardless of if you are an individual or couple experiencing sexual dysfunction read these words carefully: you are not a problem.
Blaming, shaming, and guilt-tripping ourselves or others will not lead us to the sex we desire. We were sold the idea that sex is supposed to be “easeful”. Can we tenderly hold our feelings of grief and frustration when our experience doesn’t feel that way?
Step 2: Willingness to Approach Sex Differently
I commonly hear, “sex was great I’m not sure what happened”. It can feel as if we or our relationship lost its spark. Remember those stats, this is a common experience.
I’d argue that a spark hasn’t been lost. Our approach to sex requires an upgrade as the old ways are no longer serving us. Can we be willing to approach sex differently — our communication, our belief systems, our sexual practices, our body connection, how we handle discomfort and disappointment?
Step 3: Seek Professional Help
A professional who specializes in sex can support with identifying what you need mentally, emotionally, relationally and in your body to show up as your desired sexual self while reducing the experience of unwanted symptoms.
Schedule a phone consultation with me by clicking Book Free Intake Call to talk further about the possibility of working together.
Citations:
Avasthi, A., Grover, S., & Sathyanarayana Rao, T. S. (2017). Clinical Practice Guidelines for Management of Sexual Dysfunction. Indian journal of psychiatry, 59(Suppl 1), S91–S115. https://doi.org/10.4103/0019-5545.196977
